Give Me Truth

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Give Me Truth

Henry David Thoreau

"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth."

- Henry David Thoreau

For a large majority of my life I was caught up in a lie. A lie that said I need something outside myself to make me okay. "This moment is too lousy for me. If I could only get 'this' then 'this' moment would be better"

That script right there led me to all types of pain. Pain that burrowed itself deep below the skin. The pain spun off a lie. A lie that said "I'm not okay". So, I made a life chasing phantoms. They are elusive. How I enjoyed the trickery. The worst magic show I've ever been to. Yet, I just couldn't keep from going. Couldn't stand the Magician. I knew all the illusions. I KNEW they were bullshit. They gave me a lie and I enjoyed the view.

Even Pain is Sweet.

There must be a breaking point; least there was within me. I realized that the ashes of my life were a direct result from chasing a solution outside of myself. For me, that solution was drugs. It was a slow suicide. I think there is a cure for altering your life. That cure is Pain; lots of it. The first breath of Truth changed me: "I designed this moment. I gave up. I ran. I'm living like a Loser." I think when you have the willingness to shoulder the responsibility of your life as it currently is, that life may just begin to change. 

There was a moment within me, a decision: "I know longer care about where I live, what job I have, how much money I make, the state of my relationships, car or bus; all I want is peace of mind". I think when you want Peace more than you want your next breath, it will come. That is where Truth approached me. When I accepted the current state of my life with all of its ashes and shades of black; right there it began to change. "I'm okay. My life is a mess. But, I am relatively okay". All I ever wanted to be was "okay". So, when that glimmer of "okayness" comes, our sole vocation becomes fanning that flame. Keeping it alive. The outside circumstances of life take a back seat. "Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me Truth." 

The same way that a Lie creates a life for you... Truth does the same. Take your pick.

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